Giving Parents The Power of Choice
IBeing a parent is hard. Six years ago, my wife gave birth to my first child, Nicholas. Those were exciting days. The anticipation, the birth, the visitors and gifts, the new beautiful, healthy baby boy. Then, reality. We took Nicholas home and it was going to be the most amazing experience of our lives. Two days in, when the adrenaline wore off, the last visitor left the house, and the exhaustion kicked in, amazing could hardly be the word I would ever use to describe the first three months of being a dad. Soon after being born, Nicholas was an overwhelming challenge for my wife and I. Broken and often sleepless nights, acid reflux and a screaming baby 24/7 put the proverbial screws to our patience and brought us each to the brink of sanity, but not for reasons you might suspect. Sure, it was a brutal test of will, an up at all hours of the night, psychological siege. But for nine months, we waited for the moment when we could bring a baby into our home and begin the journey of parenthood, bright eyed and ready for the challenge, and challenge it was. Our baby was sick, and we could not get the answers as to why. Thrust into this new and extremely stressful situation, we were out of answers, out of options and simply had nowhere to turn. Why was our baby sick? As parents, especially new parents, we knew we had to do any and everything to get our child well. It was weighing on us tremendously, but answers, which solved Nicholas’ issues completely did not come for some time.
Parents understand that their most important job is to protect the health and well being of their children. When we are unable to do this, the entire world may seem like a dead end, and that feeling is as empty a feeling as any parent could ever endure. Substance abuse and addiction, whether you believe it is a disease, or a choice, or a manifestation of genetic factors beyond your control, is a very serious ailment, inflicting millions of people around the world, and the teenage world is no exception. While researching substance abuse and addiction, I have had numerous conversations with parents of children who use drugs and alcohol. The most common thread throughout each of those conversations has always been “I know my child is using drugs, and I have no idea what to do about it.” Like Nicholas’ acid reflux, we had no idea what to do about it, especially when no one had answers for us. Parents who discover drug use among their kids find themselves in a similar situation, searching for help, searching for answers.
There are many factors that lead to substance abuse and addiction, and range from genetics, environmental disposition, to mental health comorbidities and lack of coping skills, to simple experimentation that goes awry. The complicated issue of discovering these factors plays a key role in resolving them, and parents need to have the opportunity to be active participants in the discovery, intervention and resolution processes for their children. I have heard too often that there is nowhere to turn.
We need to work through these issues, communicate and intervene with comprehensive plans and facilitate an environment through which parents, their children, and the people who care about them each play a critical role in decision making when it comes to the best course of action going forward. Whether it is addressing peer pressure, depression and anxiety, academic pressure, low self esteem and confidence or lack of coping skills, amongst many other factors, parents and their children need to be afforded the opportunity to uncover and understand the root of such issues, so full interventions can manifest and create an opening for resolving substance abuse before it reaches critical mass. There are options, and parents must have the knowledge, and power to choose the best course, it is only right.